One of the outstanding things about Lagos is the large population crammed into a small landmass. Every square inch is taken, and when you walk down any street in Mile 12, Mile 2, Oshodi, Mushin, Ojuelegba or Obalende, you feel like, for some strange reason, the whole world is out for a walk. Come see a sea of people!
During my days in Lagos, I avoided the crowds as much as I could. I operated my office from my house and ventured out only when absolutely necessary, like when I have to go to the bank. Even at the bank the crowds can be massively crazy, especially at the end of the month when salaries are paid. If you operate an account with one of those old time banks that pay salaries on behalf of the government and you have to do business there during such time, your name is 'sorry'!
Wahala dey!
The main reason for this wahala is our inability to master ourselves and do things in an orderly manner. This disorderliness causes unnecessary delays, resulting in huge stress and frayed nerves, occasionally resulting in fisticuffs and other forms of show of shame.
Little wonder then that General Mohammadu Buhari and General Tunde Idiagbon found it necessary to regimentalize us into the queueing battalion. That was when the generals were younger and stronger. We are lucky now, in his second coming, PMB is not in uniform and is no longer as young, and Idiagbon's place has been taken by the scholarly and pious Pastor Yemi Osinbajo (no relation to the wily Obasanjo, even though their names can be used together in the lines of a rhyming poem!).
But our penchant for disorderliness and, therefore our need for a Buhari/Idiagbon-type regimentalization, persists. I look forward to a day soon when we all will be 'decreed' into orderliness. Then we will quickly see that, as a result of orderliness, our effectiveness and productivity will increase exponentially.
Back to my days in crowded Lagos (and the crowding gets tighter with each new birth!).
One particularly tight month end, on a particularly trying day, I had reason to go to the bank; the Union Bank by the roundabout on Shasha Road, Dopemu. When I entered, I was greeted by a scene of disorderliness that is worse than Ngurore on a market day. There was no style or class to it, and no pretensions whatsoever. It was raw disorderliness of the strong-headed type: the type of headache that required Panadol Extra!
My first impulse was to turn around and return home, but necessity persuaded me to stay. I scanned the motley crowd to see if I could make any sense of it. It had no decipherable handle nor angle to it. I pressed my way to a guard standing there like a lost child, with an expression on his face like fish out of water. I asked him why he and his colleagues had allowed things to get so out of control. He looked into my face closely, trying to determine who or what I was, before replying resignedly that the crowd got out of hand, almost violent, leading the bank manager to order the security guards to leave the crowd to its devices.
Not good. Not good at all. One can be here all day and not get anything done.
I turned around and looked at the bustling crowd once more. I concluded that someone needed to take charge and bring some order to this asymmetric madness. I asked the guard if I could give a try in attempting to bring some order to this sweltering mess. He stretched out both his hands towards the crowd resignedly, as if to say "ga fili, ga doki!" (Hausa, meaning - Behold the field, behold the horse!).
I took the cue and forced my way to the middle of the crowd. Then, assuming an air of authority, I commanded everyone to listen to me. The strength in my voice and the confidence in my manners compelled them all to quieten down and listen to me.
"We are all educated and civilized people", I thundered, " but our behaviour here today does not reflect that noble truth." I paused for a brief moment to allow my words to sink in.
"If you will humbly follow my lead, I want us to form two orderly lines and take alternate turns at any free teller among the four that are available for business today" I announced and, without wasting a moment, I commanded further, "Oya everyone, fall into line!".
I pointed at where I wanted the lines to begin and the people, not sure who I was or what authority I carried, began to quickly fall in line. Before long we had two orderly lines and the hullabaloo quickly died down. I stood in front of the lines and guided the first few individuals to the free tellers. When normalcy returned and efficiency resumed, I walked to the end of one of the lines and took a place to await my turn.
As soon as the people established that I was a regular customer who took it upon himself to bring orderliness in place of chaos, they unanimously insisted that I come to the front and transact my business ahead of them. I flatly refused, insisting that my action was purely altruistic and not for personal advantage. Besides, I just stepped into the bank not long ago, behind everyone else.
I will never forget what one elderly man said to me as I stood in line and awaited my turn:
" My son, I do not know who you are or what you do for a living, but you need to go into politics. We need people like you as our leaders; people who will see an area of need and step out to solve it, even if it will not pay them personally. You are a born leader. God will reward you."
I thanked him and said 'amen' to his prayer.
After I finished my transaction, I returned home wondering why Nigerians cannot order themselves. We lose a lot of good for our disorderliness. Where is our sense of decorum and civility? Why are we so jaga-jaga about everything? Eadris Abdulkareem was not far from the truth, you know, (never mind the lively protestation of OBJ against the song!) When he sang "Nigeria jaga-jaga, everything scatter-scatter".
But, I see a better day...
Take some time to ponder on the following quotes about orderliness. Orderliness creates the conditions for increased productivity and prosperity. It facilitates creativity and originality, thus bringing out the best in humanity. We lose a lot when we act in disorderliness:
1. "Not only is orderliness an economy; it produces rest." - Alice Foote MacDougall - American businesswoman and restuarant owner.
2. "I am a big believer that orderliness begets wealth." - Susan Lynn "Suze" Orman - American financial advisor, author and podcast host.
3. "Without order in your life, you will realize that you will only be busy but without commensurate results." - Sunday Adelaja - Nigerian-born Ukrainian pastor, international speaker and author.
It is Agoso Bamaiyi, your friend for a greater Nigeria and the best things of life.
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