Bounce Back, Bigger and Better!

Bounce Back, Bigger and Better!

When negative or bad things happen to you - such as government or parents failing in their responsibilities, a friend or confidante betraying you, your business partners scheming you out of your investments and dues, your siblings or relations denying you your birthright, your husband or wife despising you or cheating on you, an accident that cripple you, etc. - it can leave you out on a limb or pretty beaten down and devastated. You suddenly find yourself thrown out of your secure zone and left to fight for your sanity, dignity and/or even your dear life.

At such times, the easiest reaction, but by far the less productive one, is to pick offence and start the blame game. But, and I need to emphasize, it is an exercise in futility. Do not waste time seeking excuses or justification or even revenge.

Picking offence and blaming others are very convenient as self-extricating excuses and soothing for your ego, but in reality offer absolutely no traction or momentum for moving forward or making progress or bouncing back, bigger and stronger. They only dig you deeper and deeper into despair and defeat. Listen to these wise words by Nanette Matthews:

"You relinquish your power when you blame others for situations in your life. The blame does not change the situation and only keeps you in a victim mentality. Accept that the situation occurred and find a way to transcend it and you will reclaim your power and become the victor." - Nanette Mathews.

There is ALWAYS the possibility of bouncing back, better and smarter, no matter the extent of the negative event or issue. That is what your mind and subsequent engagements should be focused on. Listen to this advice by British-born American writer, Jacqueline Edgington:

"You can blame your difficulties on your parents, but every time you do, it’s like sitting in mud. Each time you blame, you sink a little further until you get stuck. When you get stuck, you can’t act to make things better. You won’t become anything if you keep blaming. You’ll always be stuck in the mud. But when you stop blaming, then you can act. You can act like people do in fairy tales. You can write your own lines. You can create your own story." - Jacqueline Edgington

Your DESTINY cannot be destroyed by the negative things that happen to you. Therefore, pickup the pieces, stand up in courage and start again. You may have to start in a new direction entirely or in your former pursuit but with new partners or in a new location, or you may have to go it alone. Whatever you decide to do, get up, go out and do it. Go ahead and write your own story.

WHAT YOU MUST NOT DO IS TO STAY ON AND BROOD OVER THE OFFENCE OR ENGAGE IN THE BLAME GAME. Both are totally fruitless and a colossal waste of time and energy. They will take you nowhere except deeper and deeper into problems and compounded complications, resulting in failure in life.

If there ever is anything that can scuttle your DESTINY in life, it is to pick offence and play the blame game or seek to pay back in kind. Doing any of these will weigh you down and blind you to the great possibilities that still lie ahead of you. Your greatest and sweetest revenge and victory is not in painting your offenders black or even succeeding in pulling them down. No. It is in pulling your self up, bouncing back and succeeding in life. Frank Sinatra, American singer, actor, producer and one of the best-selling music artists of all time, agree. He said, and I quote:

"The best revenge is massive success" - Frank Sinatra.

YOU ARE MORE THAN ANY BAD OR NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE, SO DO NOT ALLOW ANY TO KEEP YOU DOWN. ARISE, GO FORWARD AND SUCCEED: BIGGER AND BETTER. 

You are more than a conqueror. Nothing and no one can stop you.

It is Agoso Bamaiyi, your friend for a greater Nigeria and the best things in life.

Factors of Success: Persistence and Determination

Factors of Success: Persistence and Determination.

I am always excited when I meet a young man or woman who is highly talented and gifted in anything or one who has a high Intelligence Quotient, IQ, or one who has a great education and shows it in resourcefulness and civility. The reason I am so excited stems from the fact that the key to a truly great and productively functional Nigeria is in having these kinds of people in large numbers all across the country and then creating the conducive atmosphere they need to manifest.

In their manifestation lies the answer to most of the developmental challenges and difficulties we are faced with as a nation; whether it be economic development and economic diversification, manufacturing and industrialisation, science and technology, steel and mining, agriculture and livestock, fisheries and water resources, wildlife and forestry, culture and tourism, social services and social cohesion, social justice and social development, security and peace, law and order, sports and entertainment, women and youth, etc.

We will come into full development in all sectors of our economy and our life as a nation when we have individuals, our own citizens, in large numbers, who are highly talented, highly endowed and highly educated,  come into their element and take charge fully, in both public and private sectors, and push all the sectors up to world standards. We must replace mediocrity with excellence. We must replace quantity with quality. We must reach out for the best, do the best and be the best at all times. Otherwise, we will continue to wallow in poverty, with all its attendant evils, in the midst of gargantuan potential and wasted opportunities.

Two things need to happen simultaneously for this to come to pass: first, we as a nation must develop and promote the culture of excellence by lifting merit above all other considerations and, secondly, these individuals, all of our youth, must be highly motivated and keep going forward with their dream of a great country and keep doing the right things against all odds. I will address the first point in a different article. My concern in this piece is the second point: encouraging our youth to be highly motivated and remain highly determined and persistent in their pursuit of personal fulfilment and in their contributions to the realization of our national dreams and development, inspite of the huge institutional challenges and structural deficiencies and service inadequacies that plague our beloved country.

My young friend, yes, it is a good thing indeed that you are highly gifted, highly endowed and highly educated; but do not rest or depend on talent, genius or education alone to carry you to a successful and impactful life. Those are merely powerful vehicles that can do a lot of good but are going nowhere without fuel in the tank. And in a country like Nigeria where you have a lot of structural gaps and deficiencies, service inadequacies, subjective sentimentalism and pervasive corruption, you are going to need all the motivation you can muster to go against the tide and make a profitable impact. You are going to need your car serviced and fully fuelled.

DETERMINATION and PERSISTENCE provides the fuel that keeps your vehicle moving purposefully towards your desired destination. Without these twin factors of success working in your life and fuelling you forward, you are going to achieve very little, regardless the size of your talent, IQ or the quality of your education. 

This is what the 30th President of the United States of America, Calvin Coolidge, said about persistence and determination:

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent" - Calvin Coolidge.

Calvin Coolidge knows what he is saying and, therefore, should be taken seriously. You do not go anywhere far or do anything great in life, without persistence and determination, no matter how gifted, talented, endowed or educated you are. You have got to motivate yourself to give the sustained push necessary to deliver your dreams and expectations and make a difference in this life. Like a pregnant woman on the labour bed, you have got to give the push yourself. Nobody can do it for you. That is where Persistence and Determination comes in.

Author, speaker, motivator and entrepreneur,  Les Brown, agrees with the conclusion of President Coolidge. He adds:

"If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you." - Les Brown.

Italian-born American former racecar driver and champion, Mario Andretti, puts it this way:

“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek." - Mario Andretti.

Motivational counsellor, author, blogger and life enthusiast, Dr. Roopleen, agrees:

“ The world’s greatest achievers have been those who have always stayed focussed on their goals and have been consistent in their efforts." - Dr Roopleen.

My young friends, dream big. Be positively ambitious. Be fired up with unstoppable zeal and enthusiasm. Then go forward with focus and consistent effort. Go forward with great desire, determination and commitment. Go forward with persistence and determination. Go after the highest and the best in life. Stretch yourself beyond limits. Attain the fullness of your potential. Do great things in life. Achieve your dreams.

Your family waits for you.

Your clan waits for you.

Your tribe waits for you.

Your state waits for you.

Nigeria waits for you.

The World waits for you.

Be fully manifested through persistence and determination. Come into resounding success. Come into the place of influence and power. Come to the top. That is where you belong. There is enough room there for anyone who dares to dream big and push hard enough.

See you at the top.

I am Agoso Bamaiyi, your friend for a greater Nigeria and the best things of life.

How To Become Relevant In Life.

A young man once asked me: "how can I be relevant in life?"

Good question because, you see, our validation comes from the acknowledgement of our relevance. We all need validation. It pushes us to do more and be more, thus increasing our relevance quotient. Both relevance and validation or validation and relevance, whichever way you look at it, are interconnected and interdependent. One increases and improves the other.

Steps to Relevance:

Back to the question at hand: "how can I be relevant in life?"

I outlined 3 main ways for him, and they apply to all young men and women. They are:

1. Develop your talents and abilities (through education, apprenticeship, training, mentorship, etc.) until you are the best that you can be in your field and chosen profession. Doors open almost automatically to the best.

Dr. Sunday Adelaja - internationally-acclaimed Nigerian-born Ukrainian pastor, speaker and author - wrote on the same line. He said:

"You must add value to yourself to be relevant" - Sunday Adelaja.

Do not sit back on your potential idly, doing nothing to improve yourself and become better and stronger, and expect that the lines will automatically fall for you in relevant places. Get up and get doing. 

Learn a new word every day. Learn a new idea. Learn a new method or way of doing things. Learn a new and more efficient training model. Learn a new skill. Study for higher certification. Constantly increase and improve. Constantly add value to yourself. Work at it until you are the best that you can be. 

Even then, keep adding value to yourself, because doors open almost automatically for people and professionals that are the best. That is one important way for a young man to follow and become relevant in life.

2. Make yourself available and affordable, especially at the beginning of your career. No matter how good you are, if you are unavailable or unaffordable when you have not yet established a reputation and followership, your brand will not fly. Approachability is a very important factor in becoming relevant in life.

Speaking about this, Eraldo Banovac - professor, author and social entrepreneur - said:

"The key to successful social behaviour: be approachable and understand the needs of others" - Eraldo Banovac.

Do not fall into the trap of pride or over-bloated self-importance. Pride is a destructive social behaviour. Stay humble and available. Make your talents and skills accessible and easily obtainable. Show lots of understanding. Serve people. Serve your community. Serve humanity. Serve God.

It is this willing service to God and humanity that will open the doors to influence, success and fame for you. It will serve as the foundation upon which you can build a powerful life. It will serve as a springboard from which you can launch unto influence and relevance in life.

3. Be a problem-solver and solution-provider. People have problems and are constantly in search of solutions and, if you can provide them with practical and workable answers, within the ambit of your call and profession, you become recognized and valued. Everyone loves a solutions-provider.

This is the way American author and mental/physical challenge specialist, Jane Hart, outlines this truth:

"People will only want to engage if it is relevant to their needs or helps them solve problems" - Jane Hart.

So, build yourself up, position yourself well, provide answers to the questions people ask and solutions to the problems that individuals, families, communities, organisations and governments are faced with. The more you provide solutions, so will your relevance proportionately rise. It is that simple, yet very effective.

Conclusion:

Well, I am happy to report that this young man went away and put this steps to practice. Today he stands on the threshold of an impactful and relevant life. He is recognized as one of the most promising young men in Adamawa State, with very bright prospects for national and international impact. If he continues on his current trajectory - aided by his commitment to continuing self-improvement, better social skills and smarter solution- providing - I see his day of international relevance arriving sooner than later.

This can be your story. Step out and step up. Get going and get doing. Energize and empower your commitment to self-improvement, better social skills and solution-providing. Be the answer Nigeria, nay, the World is looking for. You can be relevant in this life.

See you at the top.

Its me, Agoso H. Bamaiyi, your friend for a greater Nigeria and the better things of life.

Heroism Through Service.

Heroism Through Service:

Life is fleeting; you are here today and gone tomorrow. And yet life goes on. With time you become a vague memory even to those who claimed they could not do without you. The glory and the limelight of life are painfully transient.

Nothing and no one is permanent; not even you. So, take it easy and do not be haughty, naughty or droughty. Think and work more for a good legacy and not just for material things or personal gain or pleasure and leisure. 

You see, your real fingerprint on life, your true legacy, is not your wealth, position or fame (those too are painfully transient!) but the nature of the impact your life has on others. How is your life impacting your family, your relations, your friends and your community? Is it a positive impact - one that brings increase and greater understanding and harmony - or is it a negative impact - one that brings decrease and creates more problems and disharmony? Are you a positive contributor or a negative distraction?

Think more, therefore, of how to increase your contribution to life and not just on how to amass wealth and increase your personal comfort levels and glory. Life finds meaning and purpose in contribution (giving) and not in greedy accumulation (taking). It is by giving that we actually increase. The river that has generous outflows will always receive refreshing inflows.

I was once told the story of someone who lived big and amassed a huge personal fortune, but had no one at his funeral (except the undertaker!) because he led a very selfish and negative life. His fingerprint on life was so bad that his children rejected the inheritance he left them. His case was that bad. He was a villain.

Another man died with almost nothing in his account, but the whole community turned up for his funeral and testified to his selfless and positive life. He invested his time and resources into serving others and building the community. There was no family in that community that his life did not impact on positively. He was celebrated by all. He was missed by all. He was a true hero.

You see, when we think less of self and more of others; when we seek less for self and more for others; when we do less for self and more for others; when we look out more for others and less for self; we unleash a powerful positive force that leaves an indelible mark on the sands of time, a legacy that holds us up above the mundane into the realms of the extraordinary. We become celebrated. We become true heroes.

This is how Sylvia Mary Matthews Burwell, an American government and nonprofit executive, puts it:

"Day after day, ordinary people become heroes through extraordinary and selfless actions to help their neighbors."

There is nothing greater than selfless service in bringing out the goodness and greatness in humanity and pushing communities towards fulfilling their potential and attaining a higher standard of living. Communities that encourage and promote selfless service are growing, secure and prosperous communities. Selfless service builds the commonwealth and beautifies the realm. That is where we all ought to be.

So, I ask you my friend, where are you standing at this moment? On the slippery and transient grounds of selfishness - which results in all forms of corruption - or on the solid and fertile grounds of service - which promotes justice and egalitarianism? Are you a hero in the making or a budding villain? What are you doing right at this moment; giving or taking?

True champions are men and women of selfless commitment to training. True leaders are men and women of selfless commitment to duty. True patriots are men and women of selfless commitment to country. True heroes are men and women of selfless commitment to service. Everything truly great has selflessness as the underlaying and underpinning factor. Heroism is service raised to the power of selflessness and multiplied by consistency.

Let me leave you with three (3) quotations that buttress the fact and need for heroism through selfless service.

1. America fictional writer and one of the top grossing female writers in the world, Jodi Picoult, has these words to say about true heroes and heroism:

""Heroes didn't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn't wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back." - Jodi Picoult, 

2. Gerard Way, American singer, songwriter, musician and comic book writer, defines heroes simply as:

"Heroes are ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary " - Gerard Way.

3. Former American professional tennis player who won three Grand Slam titles, and first blackman in the United States Davies Cup team, and the only blackman ever to win singles title at Wimbledon, Arthur Ashe, puts it in this powerful way:

"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost" - Arthur Ashe.

I encourage you, therefore, to walk the path of honour. Give time to selfless service. Build our beloved country through selfless service and commitment to doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances. Be a true Nigerian hero. The country awaits you.

I remain yours truly, Agoso Bamaiyi, your friend for a greater Nigeria and the best things in life.

Appreciation and Gratitude

Appreciation and Gratitude.

People, make wuna help me o! Why are we like this? Why is it that we do not generally appreciate and celebrate the good things and good people in our lives as much as we should until we lose them??

Take health, for instance. We overwork our bodies, fail to rest adequately, eat junk foods just for convenience, smoke and drink, womanize carelessly, and take other unnecessary risks with our health without giving a hoot the eventual consequences, assumming we will always have a robust health, until the chickens return home to roost. Then we run from pillar to post and put up a commendable show of commitment to healthy living. In most cases its a measure too late.

Then consider a faithful and loyal friend. He or she is there 24/7; dedicated and committed, dependable and reliable. Yet we pay very little attention to such people and invest time, energy and resources in pursuing the friendship of people who are obviously disloyal and see us only as a dispensible option or alternative. Then, one day, the loyal friend decides to move on or is called to glory. We beat ourselves up, announcing to anyone who cares to listen, how we would love to have a second chance to truly appreciate them as they deserve!

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Why can't we just reciprocate the beauty life bestows on us by always doing the right thing(s) at the right time? Why can't we appreciate and celebrate the loyal people in our lives, until we lose them? Why can't we truly value others? Why can't we be there for those that truly need us? Why do we often fail to appreciate people until we lose them?

What most of us do not know is that appreciation is one of the most powerful forces of life, hosting some of the most positively dramatic results that life can post on you. You see, what you appreciate, increases you and what you do not appreciate decreases you. What you value will elevate you and what you devalue will downgrade you. It is as simple and straightforward as that. Yet it is so powerfully profound that it changes your life for good. 

Appreciate and value your health - by eating properly, resting well, sleeping enough, avoiding too much worry and anxiety, exercising daily, avoiding alcohol and smoking, avoiding promiscuity, avoiding risky behaviour and lifestyles - and your health, in turn, will be there for you, enabling you to navigate the challenges of life, to live a long, happy and prosperous life. Health, as they say, is wealth. You will get nowhere or do anything great in life, without sound health.

It is the same thing with people. Appreciate and value people generally - by showing respect and courtesy, faithfulness and loyalty, humility and generosity, empathy and concern, friendliness and trust - and people will generally be there for you, helping you through the lowest and darkest moments of life, into light and great heights, until you stand tall in the fulness of your potential.

In the quest to attain success and achieve greatness in life, value people above money and material things. Money vanishes and material things fade, but people will always be here, because they carry an eternal worth. Use money and material things, but never ever use people. Appreciate and value people, for they are the foundation upon which true and lasting success stands. People, because they are made in the image of God, hold the key to the relevance and success you are looking for in life.

Listen to the following words about gratitude and appreciation:

1. Roman Statesman, orator, lawyer and philosopher, Cicero, has these enlightening words to say about gratitude:

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others" - Cicero.

2. Roman Catholic Benedictine Monk, author and lecturer, David Steindl-Rast, adds the following guiding words:

"It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful" - David Steindl-Rast.

3. French writer, historian and philosopher, Voltaire, writes about the endowing power of appreciation in these comforting words:

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well" - Voltaire.

Learn to show gratitude and appreciation and watch your life turn around for good. Count your blessings and show appreciation and watch as more blessings come your way. Appreciate your life and health and be awed by the flow of strength into your life. Appreciate people and be lifted above failure and all hindering circumstances. 

This is so because appreciation and gratitude opens the door to the realms of serendipity and miracles. The impossible becomes possible where genuine appreciation and gratitude hold sway, because both are expressions of faith and, it is a universal truth that, without faith it is impossible to please God. God is pleased when we show appreciation and gratitude.

I appreciate and celebrate God's Grace in me and, because I do, I have the energy and correct perspective to appreciate and celebrate you more. You all are a blessing to me. Keep growing into wealth in health and in strength.

It is me, Agoso Bamaiyi, your friend for a greater Nigeria and the best things in life.

#Agosotó 

#DrArnobb 

#LifeIsBeautiful 

#livehealthy 

#AppreciatePeople

#BeGratefulForAllThings